People are always saying things like “oh lex! Are you a big sister?!”
To which she responds.
Crickets. But ask her about her outfit and she’ll talk to you for half an hour.
Lex loves her sister- when she’s not completely and totally indifferent towards her. What she doesn’t love is the attention her sister has taken away.
I started to feel alone in lex having a hard time adjusting to life with kenz.
Until I started telling the truth.
And then I realized a lot of older siblings have it rough. And although everyone makes it though (I survived TWO siblings!) it’s not always happy and easy and full of fun.
For the first few weeks I thought we had ruined Lex’s life. She wasn’t herself. She wouldn’t interact with me if I was holding or nursing kenz. She was acting out in random ways (like using her pacifier places she knows she not allowed- ie any room besides her bedroom), and although she’s never been a tantrumer we started getting daily meltdowns.
Things are getting better. In small doses we’re all figuring it out. Lex will now sit and talk to me if I’m nursing- but if you’re holding the babe- you still turn invisible (maybe kenz came with an invisibility cloak?). We still get nightly meltdowns — but only if I’m not available for bath time (nursing! Always due to nursing!). We send lex to her room to calm down. Her bed is her safe space. And at least in there she can tantrum behind a closed door where the sound is muffled. But I’d be lying if i said the neighborhood doesn’t know the sound of Lex’s toddler shouts. It’s taking her less time to calm down and decide to “join the family again”. Because trust me honey-if you’re screaming like a banshee you certainly can’t be part of “family fun”.
Our activities are slowly becoming a source of fun again. For awhile (like 6 weeks!) lex would cry her little heart out at school drop off, through all of ballet class, and certainly through all of swim. But the fog is lifting and drop offs are getting less tearful. And not a moment too soon. Because I can’t handle the drama.
We’ve started getting sweeter moments. If someone outside the immediate family is holding kenz lex exclaims
“That’s OUR baby!”.
When kenz and I pick her up from school kenz is always greeted with a giant hug, germy kiss, and an “I missed you Kenzie! I love you Kenzie!”.
and she and i are spending more one on one time. with matching top knots (obvi).
So. There you have it. The dirty truth behind sisterly love around here. It exists- just in small doses.