hello erin »


round one IN DA BOOKS.

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round one was interesting. I had exactly zero idea what to expect and i don’t necessarily love the unexpected.

we checked into the hospital bright n early on Monday morning- ready and raring to go. My fantastic doctor met us there- and i got to see the beautiful room I’d be spending the next five days of my life in.

I was just happy it had its own shower (not that I got to use it more than twice). Even though the hospital blocked access to Netflix (the NERVE).

So it came time for the nurse to get me all hooked up- i was so excited to use my fancy port for the first time. And she took one look at my port and decided it looked a little red (probably because I was a whopping 3 days post op). She was worried if she accessed the port and it was infected she’d send an infection straight into my blood stream- which is no bueno. So down to radiology I went to get a PICC line. Those warm and friendly people recognized me the second my gurney was wheeled down– as much as I love being on a first name basis with radiology I hope to not see them again until they rip my port out.

after my PICC line was in it was time to start the chemo. Which was really anticlimactic guys. I was expecting this big old BANG! YOURE DOING CHEMO with streamers and balloons! and dancers chanting “bon voyage bertha!”. But there was none of that. Just this orange stuff being pumped into my body.

Chemo is weird. It feels like the steroids and chemo drugs were battling in my head. Uppers and downers. It was impossible to concentrate, impossible to sit still, and day two brought the ever famous nausea. Nausea and being exhausted and feeling loopy. The five days blurred into one another big time (especially since they wouldn’t let me off the floor. I probably circled the floor 400 times). Its so weird, i can’t concentrate enough to read a book- or write out a coherent email. i’m not even sure this post will make any sense.

Day five I finished up three of my drugs and had two infusions left. One was easy peasy. The rituxan however is a literal beast. They have two nurses sit with you the entire time waiting for an allergic reaction to come. It was a party (I heart the nursing staff at torrance memorial like crazy) until my allergic reaction hit. It felt like my nut allergy- tongue & airway swelling. And they don’t mess around with airway swelling- so I was hit with an extreme amount of Benadryl.

It was lights out erin.

I’m writing this- so obviously you know there’s a happy ending coming your way. The Benadryl did its magic and I was allowed to head for home the second my last infusion was finished. Which was the highlight of my week (besides being unhooked long enough to shower twice).

Home has been absolutely amazing. Being around mike and the girls it’s just good for my soul.

I’m handling the emotional side of the medial stuff fairly well (i think?), but the kindness side of it makes me tear up every damn time. The cards, the flowers, the group of bloggers who got together to send me the most amazing gifts ever, the visitors, the meals, the social media comments, the thoughts & prayers. . . i could go on and on about how NICE everyone is. i don’t know what i did to deserve all of this- or how i’ll ever truly be able to thank everyone. but it means the WORLD to me (to us!). i so badly want to write everyone a personalized thank you and just let them know how grateful we are- but i can’t figure out how or when– but i’m trying. words just can’t express the thankful feelings we’re feeling. We have all this amazing support and I’m trying so hard not to count down the days until the madness begins again.


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a highlight of the week was when k showed up wearing her overalls on backwards. . .


i wasn’t allowed out of my room without one of these damn masks on.

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  • January 16, 2017 - 3:59 pm

    Sara - We are officially one round down and one round closer to ADVENTURES…. so WAY TO GO. Love you so much. I’m so proud of you!! Remind me to tell you about the time I got sent home from school for wearing a Millertime shirt because dad was in charge of wardrobe…

  • January 16, 2017 - 4:03 pm

    Meghan - 1 round down… woohoo! So glad you are home with your family! And I’m so glad you have such an amazing support system. I think I can speak for everyone and say no thank you note is necessary… just get better :).

  • January 16, 2017 - 4:15 pm

    Courtney Patterson - Round one down and guess what – you did it! You are amazing; a ferocious, kick-ass warrior. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and prayers your way.

  • January 16, 2017 - 5:13 pm

    Stef Harris - Erin, you’re an inspiration to us all. Your attitude towards everything is incredible and I can only imagine how seeing your girls and Mike brighten your day. Thinking of you often and sending lots of love. xoxo

  • January 16, 2017 - 5:29 pm

    Lacey Bean - Go YOU!!!

  • January 16, 2017 - 5:32 pm

    sarita @ it's my girls' world - You are awesome. I’m sending SO many prayers your way!

  • January 16, 2017 - 6:29 pm

    Jessica Beer - Yay for round one being done! So proud of you friend and praying for you!

  • January 16, 2017 - 8:28 pm

    Desiree - You’re so damn amazing.
    I cannot wait to throw a massive “KICKED BERTHA’S ASS” party when this is all said and done!

  • January 16, 2017 - 9:09 pm

    Sharon - Thinking about you. Sending love & hugs to you, Mike & the girls see you in Feb, hugs in person. Love from Tony too.

  • January 16, 2017 - 9:44 pm

    Liz - HELL to the YES. You are done with round one and kicking butt and taking names. You are so strong and so amazing and have such a positive outlook on things. In a few short months, Bertha will officially be kicked to the curb! xoxoxo

  • January 16, 2017 - 10:41 pm

    Jean Hamilton - You are so courageous! The Ham Fam is rooting (and praying) for you like crazy!!!!

  • January 16, 2017 - 11:12 pm

    Katie Bliven - Wait. Netflix was blocked? It seems like it should be part of the treatment plan.
    So happy you’re home. It’s funny how disruptions make you crave the routine. XO.

  • January 17, 2017 - 5:03 am

    Paige Haring - So glad round one is done. Thinking of you.

  • January 17, 2017 - 5:34 am

    Joseph Gray - Nicely done Erin! Getting to first base. Not going through this myself, but having a first-born like you go through it, i feel you did vey well despite the allergic reaction. I see life and joy in your pictures of you and the girls instead of fear and “poor me”, which is awesome. Truly. Mom and Dad raised you right, to be a fighter and appreciate the love and kindness heading your way. I will continue praying for your healing directly or indirectly so that you can serve your family and friends with a heart of gratitude and humility that is loved by God. Peace be with you.

  • January 17, 2017 - 6:06 am

    B - One is in the books, yay for surviving, for lots of acts of kindness, for baby girls and backwards overalls. I am sure the girls are thrilled to have their hero home too. Now you know you got this! You are awesome and we (my babies and I) are cheering you on from the east coast (good ole Maryland!).

  • January 17, 2017 - 6:41 am

    Tawnya - Yay!!! One down! Glad you’re dealing with it all well, the part about the IV steroids made me cringe, that restless unfocused feeling is no joke. I get a high dose of steroids after my surgeries and it is awful!! So happy you’re back with your family and hopefully feeling ok ❤

  • January 17, 2017 - 8:15 am

    Heidi - WOW!! What an update. You are amazing. Our thoughts are with you. Hugs and Kisses Heidi and Gordon.

  • January 17, 2017 - 11:09 am

    Crystal - Yay for round one being OVER! You are so strong my friend. I’m happy that you are getting to spend some time with your sweet and precious family! And Meghan is right, no thank you note is needed. I hope you enjoyed all of the goodies!

  • January 17, 2017 - 11:57 am

    Stephanie - I will be cheering you on the whole way! You are so much stronger than I imagine myself being. I hate being a patient but I can promise you I too would be kicking Bertha’s ass.
    Love and hugs!

  • January 17, 2017 - 1:09 pm

    Sarah - You are in my thoughts! Take care of yourself!

  • January 17, 2017 - 3:04 pm

    Heidi - Erin, be expecting a delivery on Thursday. It wouldn’t allow me to say who it was from. Something you enjoy. XOXOXO Heidi

  • January 19, 2017 - 2:09 pm

    Laureen Deveau - The backwards overalls and your killer attitude are my favorite. Yay for one down!! 🙂

  • January 22, 2017 - 10:02 pm

    Whitney - You are a rockstar. Praying for you and your family!!!

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