round one IN DA BOOKS.
round one was interesting. I had exactly zero idea what to expect and i don’t necessarily love the unexpected.
we checked into the hospital bright n early on Monday morning- ready and raring to go. My fantastic doctor met us there- and i got to see the beautiful room I’d be spending the next five days of my life in.
I was just happy it had its own shower (not that I got to use it more than twice). Even though the hospital blocked access to Netflix (the NERVE).
So it came time for the nurse to get me all hooked up- i was so excited to use my fancy port for the first time. And she took one look at my port and decided it looked a little red (probably because I was a whopping 3 days post op). She was worried if she accessed the port and it was infected she’d send an infection straight into my blood stream- which is no bueno. So down to radiology I went to get a PICC line. Those warm and friendly people recognized me the second my gurney was wheeled down– as much as I love being on a first name basis with radiology I hope to not see them again until they rip my port out.
after my PICC line was in it was time to start the chemo. Which was really anticlimactic guys. I was expecting this big old BANG! YOURE DOING CHEMO with streamers and balloons! and dancers chanting “bon voyage bertha!”. But there was none of that. Just this orange stuff being pumped into my body.
Chemo is weird. It feels like the steroids and chemo drugs were battling in my head. Uppers and downers. It was impossible to concentrate, impossible to sit still, and day two brought the ever famous nausea. Nausea and being exhausted and feeling loopy. The five days blurred into one another big time (especially since they wouldn’t let me off the floor. I probably circled the floor 400 times). Its so weird, i can’t concentrate enough to read a book- or write out a coherent email. i’m not even sure this post will make any sense.
Day five I finished up three of my drugs and had two infusions left. One was easy peasy. The rituxan however is a literal beast. They have two nurses sit with you the entire time waiting for an allergic reaction to come. It was a party (I heart the nursing staff at torrance memorial like crazy) until my allergic reaction hit. It felt like my nut allergy- tongue & airway swelling. And they don’t mess around with airway swelling- so I was hit with an extreme amount of Benadryl.
It was lights out erin.
I’m writing this- so obviously you know there’s a happy ending coming your way. The Benadryl did its magic and I was allowed to head for home the second my last infusion was finished. Which was the highlight of my week (besides being unhooked long enough to shower twice).
Home has been absolutely amazing. Being around mike and the girls it’s just good for my soul.
I’m handling the emotional side of the medial stuff fairly well (i think?), but the kindness side of it makes me tear up every damn time. The cards, the flowers, the group of bloggers who got together to send me the most amazing gifts ever, the visitors, the meals, the social media comments, the thoughts & prayers. . . i could go on and on about how NICE everyone is. i don’t know what i did to deserve all of this- or how i’ll ever truly be able to thank everyone. but it means the WORLD to me (to us!). i so badly want to write everyone a personalized thank you and just let them know how grateful we are- but i can’t figure out how or when– but i’m trying. words just can’t express the thankful feelings we’re feeling. We have all this amazing support and I’m trying so hard not to count down the days until the madness begins again.